I wish I was
by something unimportant
Summary: Day to day life becomes a toture after certain time and two nobodies are struggeling for their sanity Xem/Saix
1. Prologue

Another day in the world that never was.

The library was the calmest place in the world that never was, no one ever came there. There were two reasons.

First no nobody was interested in books, besides Xemnas and Roxas. Number one used to collect reports and bind them into large volumes, while the youngest member was merely writing a diary.

Each and every entry was about the same things:

Axel, Sora and Riku

and none of the entries was more demanding than a Stephenie Meyer book.

The second reason, why no nobody cared for the library was because there were no books at all. Xemnas had burned all of them after the gave him no clue how to regain his heart.

So Xigbar sat alone in the vast room with empty grayish shelves from the grayish floor to the grayish ceiling, drinking home brewed mead in the grayish light. There was too much honey in it, so he could only take small sips otherwise his throat would get sticky. But he liked it that way.

Every surface reflected the bits of moonlight that had fought its way through the atmosphere, the thick clouds and one of the rare windows of the castle, just to be be held slave in the endless windowless white halls. Doom to wander around until it find the way. Of course some of the light ended up in the largest room of the world that never was.

The library.

The thick rimmed white door that would be the hoped for escape for the moonlight was neatly closed expect for the times when Xigbar slipped in or out.

The castle was a prison indeed, for its ihabtians as well as for the forces of nature.

Xigbar himself was not aware of those small facts.

He just asked himself who had farted this time when ever he met the breeze that blew in Demyx homeworld the day he died.

It came with the musician, as a friend, as fellow prisoner. As a piece of home an comfort so far from home.

But now it was nothing but a lukewarm breeze that wandered the castle together with the light. The smell of the sea long gone.

Xigbar took another sip of the mead and sighed. The benches of the library were comfy and nice to nap in. He spend most of the day drinking an dozing because there was nothing better to do, besides a game with Luxord, but he always lost which killed the fun and the thrill.

So the sharp shooter sat there, sighed and as always thought about fine a drinking horn would be, but then again to much trouble for to less fun.

With a black flash a portal interrupted the quiet peace of the white and vast room and spat a bloody, black coat on the floor of the library and vanished.

Number II didn´t even raise an eyebrow. „Ya really oughta learn when to stop fella. Someday the darkness won´t spit ya on the floor like a chewed up piece of smokeless tobacco y´know." he said and picked his finger nails with his teeth. He´dn´t broken them not a single time that way.

The bloody black coat rose to its feet. „Quit talking old man." the bloody black hood hide the face of number seven only the yellow eyes glared at Xigbar without blinking for the fracture of an eternity.

Xigbar blinked, a sharp shooter needs to have wet eyes all the time, he can´t risk them drying and falling out. The thought of his eyes dried like raisins made him smile ever so faintly. „Do me a favour and get laid, I can´t stand your PMSing." his smile grew into a smirk from ear to ear as the younger one turned on his heels and stomped away.

He kicked the door open and it fell to the floor causing a cloud of dust to rise. The fog settled and Number seven was gone.

Xigbar sighed. „Those newbies have no style at all." with a smooth gesture of his hand the door returned to its hinge like the beserk had never even touched it.

He took another sip of his mead and leaned back, intending to take a nice nap, paying no attention at all to the blood on the floor.

AN:

well I´m too lazy to write a incredible long and boring disclaimer, I mean if I´d own kingdom hearts I wouldn´t be writing this fanfiction, wouldn´t I?

oh yes I haven´t yet tasted mead, I suppose it´s disgusting

and I hope all of you like this prologue, if not I don´t care

review if you want, I don´t care

oh and sorry for my awful english, I´m just a humble fangirl from europe, but grammar´s overrated anyway


	2. 1

Demyx sometimes had what Axel called a "wet dream".

He dreamed of all the water in his old home. Of the waves of the sea. In fact of lots and lots of water everywhere.

Those wet dreams flooded parts of the castle for weeks. Even if Number eight boiled the water to steam, which left the castle and turned into clouds and finally into rain. Of course Number eight boiled the water at a frightening speed, still the cellar never really dried.

Minerals contained in the water had turned the cellar into a grotto.

It was a bit like a salt mine. The salty water being boiled to steam and then the left behind salt collected and sold, but thirdteen people don´t need a whole salt mine.

So after a while, the cellar was a grotto, with raw uneven stone walls instead of a grayish undefined material.

Against all odds, Demyx hated the grotto, even when it was flooded and it was Lexaeus who enjoyed the scent of familiar minerals. He halfway drowned more than once.

Xemnas visited him, to see the growth of the crystals and decide whether they were risky or tolerable. He was afraid, they´d ruin the walls by ... well he wasn´t quite sure, but the idea of anything growing in the castle scared him.

The superior had Demyx join him for his visit, saying that water would be, in case of a real danger caused by crystals, the most convenient way to get rid of them.

Demyx last wet dream was about a month ago, so the walls and the staircase wasn´t slippery with water. The headed down wards the spirals stairs in silence. Demyx felt uncomfortable. After all this mess was his fault.

They reached the door, it was sealed shut by the crystals long ago. The only way in or out were portals. Xemnas eyed it not very amused. Demyx bit his lips and hoped Xemnas wouldn´t use his head to crush the door open.

"Lexaeus!" he called with his dark voice. It always reminded Demyx of black tea with milk, bitter and the milk left a strange taste.

No answer, the minerals and the door were to thick to let the sound travel or Lexaeus just wasn´t in the grotto, Demyx didn´t know and didn´t want to.

Xemnas called his laser sword and cut the door in two, but the crystals held it firmly, ignoring the cut. "Number nine." Xemnas ordered. Demyx not existing heart skipped two beats before he pulled himself together and called some water. It rubbed against the minerals which didn´t care at all.

They had grown over a too long period to just be washed away in an instant. Xemnas made a face and called his ligth swords again, cutting straight through the struggling water an the door. He cut a roughly portal shaped hole into the door.

He stepped through it ignoring the doorfragments an the water. Demyx followed him, was too nervous to care about the water and just followed his superior deeper into the castle that never was.

The floor was uneven an Demyx halfway stumbled over his own feet more than once. Additionally it got darker because there were no more grayish walls to reflect the light. It smelled cool and slightly like the sea.

Demyx was pissing his pants and Xemnas looked around. "It seems the foreign substance supports the walls more than damaging them I believe." he stepped closer to a wall and touched it with his glove hand. "I´ll send Number four to analyse the molecular structure of the cristalls." he said to himself.

Demyx clenched his fists and tried not to panic. So much stone and the proof of his utter and total failure made him shiver and he wished Axel would be there to make a lame sex joke about Lexaeus jerking off over the walls or whatever.

"The air tastes exordinary... There might me traces of primitive liveforms." Xemnas looked around, his face was hidden in the shadows. His eyes fixed at Demyx. "A very interesting place you´ve created Number nine, it might help us study the effects of this world on living tissue. I am very proud of you."

Demyx stared at the walls unable to keep eye contact. The yellow eyes would pierce right trough him, he was sure. "Can I go now?" he asked carefully.

"Yes you may leave." Xemnas said, his eyes still fixed on the other nobody. Demyx didn´t hesitated to call a portal back to his room. He curled up in his bed and tried not to shiver so hard and breath so fast.

AN:

I feel like some Xemsai action...

next chapter is going to be fun

xD


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